The GIANT Guide On How To Be A "Bad Chick"

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    Lately, being a bad chick is oh-so-good.

    The other day I watched a music video for Rapper Ludacris’ latest single, “My Chick Bad” in which he explains the dynamics of being a bad chick.

    With the help of a few of the baddest, bad-girls in the game, Luda put down a track explaining the A-B-Cs and 1-2-3s of badness. As the raunchy rap riddle came to an end, I sat trying to figure out the formula for badness. I mean, really…what makes a bad chick? I am a college graduate with a dual degree in history and political science. I work hard, I have a promising career, I am independent, confident and I take pride in myself. Doesn’t that make me bad? After taking the lyrics at face value I came to the conclusion that I am a mediocre chick at best.

    Apparently badness is measured in terms of waist to hip ratio, food (ie, lettuce, cheese and cheddar) and expensive boots. Huh?

    This confused me. All of the time and effort that I put into my own personal betterment was seemingly irrelevant according to the rap geniuses that wrote the song on badness. When I first listened to  Maya Angelou explain the depths of being phenomenal:

    Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

    I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size

    But when I start to tell them,

    They think I’m telling lies.
    I say,

    It’s in the reach of my arms

    The span of my hips,

    The stride of my step,

    The curl of my lips.

    I’m a woman

    Phenomenally.

    Phenomenal woman,

    That’s me.

    I screamed from the rooftops, “I am a phenomenal woman!” So why, then, do the likes of Luda, Trina, Eve and Diamond have me doubting my badness? It would be too easy to write this off as silly rap-talk, both ignorant and meaningless. No, I decided; there must be something meaningful in the bowels of this bad-chick-debauchery. Again, I listened closely and took notes on what exactly this motley crew considers necessary in order to achieve near perfection. Believe it or not, Diamond, Eve and Trina at times did manage to hit the nail right on the head!

    No one reads Shakespeare once and fully grasps the immensity of his hold on the complexities of love and life. You must always push yourself to dig deeper in order to fully indulge in his brilliance. I dug deeper into “My Chick Bad,” and I did not find Shakespeare or brilliance, but i did find some level of redemption.

    Sure, I expected raunchy, imbecilic references to big booties and sex appeal. In that respect, my expectations were fulfilled. But oddly enough, nestled between the narcissistic lines lie a few jewels that every woman could use and every man should expect. Ladies, want to know how to be a “bad Chick?” Fellas, want to know whether or not your chick is bad? Here, with GIANT‘s help, is the blow-by-blow analysis of “My Chick Bad.”

    As it turns out these girls are actually brilliant and perceptive! Or at least, with our help they are…

    diamond

    Picture 10

    Picture 14

    There you have it. Want to be a bad chick? Refer to the far right column.

    Thank us later.

    Take a look at the video with your newly enlightened mind in case you needed a visual guide:

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